Rank

- = Enlisted = -			- = Officer = -
	E-1	These guys are the lowest of the low. This is the person who is first in line for the worst jobs imaginable. Everyone outranks them and generally makes their lives as difficult as possible. In my opinion these guys are the ones who deserve the salute.		O-1	A new jackass is born! I probably shouldn't be too hard on orifices, oops, I mean officers, but if they didn't suck so much... Anyway the average ensign is completely lost, similar to a seaman recruit, but far more dangerous because they can actually make you do stuff.

	E-2	What's the difference between an E-1 and an E-2? To an E-2, a lot, to the rest of the fleet, practically none. At least they finally get to sew patches on all their dress uniforms.		O-2	Apparently there is a big difference between these guys and ensigns, but I don't know what it is. Same bar, different color.

	E-3	Some special people actually get to skip these first few ranks upon enlistment. I wasn't special. As a seaman, you finally start having a clue; but you're still cleaning toilets.		O-3	If a lieutenant sees someone doing something wrong, instead of just telling that person what is wrong, he will tell your division officer, who tells your chief, who tells your first class, who finally tells you (perhaps the next day). This is known as the "chain of command" it is also known as "a complete waste of time".

	E-4	Ah, you are finally almost significant! You took a test, got good evals, and weren't completely messed up, but what it boils down to, is... LUCK! People are advanced according to the "needs of the Navy" so your actual skill and abilities are secondary.		O-4	This is the XO or #2 officer, the captain's personal bitch-boy. They typically get beaten relentlessly by the captain. This can occasionally make them one of the biggest pricks onboard a ship.

	E-5	This is perhaps the ideal place to be, not too high on the totem pole, and not too low. But don't flatter yourself, because you're still cleaning toilets. If you make it any further in rank past this point, you should be shot.		O-5	Even though he is a commander, he is the captain on a small ship. This is the God. You literally have to pay homage to him. He can do whatever he wants, no matter how stupid it is. If he says, "shoot yourself in the skull", all the junior officers would do it, without hesitation.

	E-6	First classes are like a funnel for the chiefs. How they treat you depends directly on the mood of the chief. I'm not sure if first classes personally do anything; they run around a lot making other people do stuff while getting all the credit for what's being done. You can identify a first class by the ship's mug they're carrying.		O-6	Ah a captain! But he won't be commanding a small ship, maybe a carrier or naval base. When one of them visits a small ship, it is similar to the admiral below.

	E-7	Chiefs are never wrong; I found this one out the hard way. I've seen too many chiefs yell at other people for their own mistakes. Chiefs also have a tendency to repeat the same question several times until you can guess the right answer (they will do this even if you state that you don't know the answer).		O-7	I've never spent any worthwhile time around any admirals, but I do know they suck. When one "pops in on a visit" the crew gets beaten down for hours to accommodate them. The captain knows he's being hard on the crew, but when the admiral says how nice the ship looks (which he always does), the captain thinks he's saying, "thanks for treating your crew like dog meat for me". It's all about brownie points.

	E-8	Senior chiefs have a tendency of walking around pointing out useless discrepancies in order to prove their greater chief-ness. If they are close to getting out, then they are unusually cool for a chief; however if they are "Navy for life", then they are worse than a regular chief.		O-8	Same as above but X2.

	E-9	The average master chief is typically in past their retirement, so the best way to describe these guys is that they are completely insane. At this point any hope of an ordinary civilian life has been completely destroyed. If these people ever retire, they probably need a Navy manufactured pace maker just to keep themselves alive.		O-9	X3

	E-10	There is only one of these. He does stuff in Washington and writes news articles or something. As you can see, he left a definite impression on me.		O-10	X4 There's technically also an O-11, but they don't come about unless there is a war.


	If you haven't noticed, all patches/collar devices lead to another picture (hehe). Also note that the comments on this page are based on experiences onboard an average small-class ship. (other class ships and installations vary a lot; I've even heard rumors of people being happy somewhere in the Navy)