Please note that I am in no way opposed to the existence of the US Navy.  I believe it is a completely necessary and justified organization.  Without the Navy, this country would probably be attacked by giant sea squid or maybe hordes of drunken bums wouldn't have anything to do with their lives.  As a matter of fact I hope as many people as possible join the Navy so that there is absolutely positively no chance of me ever being forced to return.  I would also like others to experience an environment in which they can truly understand the meaning of the phrase, "Suck the shit out of a dead man's ass".